A blanket of nausea
I had forgotten about how bad it used to be – the nausea.
Indeed the joys of motherhood n watching my baby grow had far outweighed my memories of these trying times, but still, I’m recently reminded that they exist.
Like a suffocating blanket, it drapes over me everyday. When I open my eyes first thing in the morning, when I change diapers, when I prepare food (v challenging indeed!), when I wind down for the day. It’s there. It steals the basic joy of eating and enjoying food, of enjoying my family.
I really, really detest it. Especially that it incapacitates me from cooking dinner everyday, hence GY has to be subjected to outside food. It makes me feel lethargic and not up to fun things like painting with the little berry. It punctures my day with toilet visits where I bend over the toilet bowl trying to haul out whatever doesn’t agree with me, which are most things.
But in the face of this joy-stealer, I know only one way out. And that is to give thanks. So I’ll rem 48 and I’ll give thanks for the many things God has blessed me with:
GY, who’s been extremely caring and sensitive to my needs despite this being my second pregnancy. It’s v sweet of him to offload me from cooking n he even tries to help out by doing a load of laundry every week, asking me what I feel like eating, telling me not to worry about his meals. Each of these acts makes me feel loved and cherished by him, and my heart is warmed.
The little berry, whom I can never stop being amazed by. Her growth, her sweetness, her silly antics. Even though it can be tough when she gets ill or lacks sleep or wakes up crying for an hour at 1am (last night!), I always miss her after she goes to sleep at night and look forward to seeing her smiles the next day. She’s been a joy to take care of and I’m privileged to have witnessed her growth so closely the past 17 months.
This little one growing inside me. It’s a gift we don’t deserve and already wonderful beyond our ability to comprehend.
Recovery from my bout of sickness.
Clean laundry, clean toilets, clean floors and clean surfaces at home. Thanks mostly to JR our house help.
Grapefruit juice and egg mayo and toast.
Sisters who pray and help whenever they can. Who’re always willing to babysit the little berry when we’re there so I can rest.
God’d word that brings me comfort and strength everyday.