The agony of bedtime

by thewallflowerchapter

Everyday as I monitor the little berry’s naps, I would have a time in mind for her to go to bed at night. This time has been calculated to take into consideration her morning waking time, length of time in between naps, time between her afternoon nap and bedtime. If she hasn’t been napping well, then of course that time would be shifted suitably earlier.

Perhaps it is this time in my mind that makes me feel defeated most days.

We never seem to be able to make it. If she skipped her afternoon nap and I say that her bedtime should be much earlier at, perhaps, 8.30pm, somehow somewhere it gets warped. Dinner plans suddenly emerge, washing and cleaning take up time and energy, we stay longer than we said we should, and before we know it, it’s 9.30pm and she’s still not asleep.

Perhaps it’s my fault. When I say bedtime at 8.30pm, I mean that she should be drinking her milk at 7.45pm, go into her room at 8pm, and BE SLEEPING latest by 8.30pm.

And it frustrates me to no end when plans suddenly pop up or change and I wasn’t ever part of that planning.

My opinions and concerns were not consulted, and as a result I end up simmering as I watch time slip us by yet again and the little berry still isn’t asleep.

It’s not that I’m a nazi. The truth is that she turns into someone else when she doesn’t get enough sleep. She gets clingy, cranky, and throws tantrums. She sometimes only wants mummy to carry her when she’s in one of these moods, and guess who gets the brunt of it all?

Being at the receiving end of her bad behavior is one thing. But the thing I really dislike is seeing her tired, in need of sleep but not in bed yet – because we, the people in charge of taking care of her, have miscalculated time, or misjudging how long plans take to unfold.

As a result it takes her much longer to wind down at night when she’s overtired. Hence, harder to go to bed. So she ends up sleeping even less. It’s a vicious cycle. A cycle I seem to be running, everyday.