by thewallflowerchapter

There’s something truly horrifying about seeing your child get injured right before your eyes, and I had that unfortunate experience today.

We brought the little berry to the jetty again today because she enjoyed it so much yesterday. Her cousins came along too, together with her grandma, uncle and auntie.

It happened so fast. We just arrived at the jetty. I was taking some pictures of her cousin and his parents when I saw the little berry walk towards the middle portion of the jetty.

Suddenly a bicycle rushed forward, and the next thing I knew, she was on the floor with the bike ON her. Her head was on the ground and the handle bar of the bike was on her face. GY reached forward but it was too late. The boy shouted “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

I was immobilized by the horror before me and could only say “Oh my God, oh my God!” The little berry didn’t cry immediately because she was in shock. GY carried her up and that’s when she started wailing in pain and reaching out for me. He quickly passed her to me and I tried my best to console her, hugging her tightly and feeling the overwhelming weight of guilt and anger over what happened.

How could I have been so careless? I shouldn’t have been taking photographs. Why wasn’t GY following her closely? I shouldn’t have let my guard down just because there are so many of us, this is how accidents happen.

Thankfully GY’s brother who’s a doctor quickly helped to check her for signs of serious injury. There weren’t any but she did have a scratch at the back of her head and bad bruises above her eyebrow and on her temple. As I saw the bruises swell up, I couldn’t help but feel guilty again. I kept telling her “sorry mummy should’ve looked after you”, but I don’t know whether she understands that.

She calmed down from the hysterical crying after a minute but still wanted to be carried by me. I was more than happy to do so. After what happened, I didn’t care if my back hurts, I just wanted to protect her.

After carrying her and walking around the jetty for a while, she started walking by herself again, talking again, enjoying the sea breeze again. I was glad to see that she walked out of that traumatized state and found courage to explore the jetty once more. But now that the quiet of the night has set in, images of her pinned under the bike keep replaying in my mind. I can only pray that God watch over her and His protection continue to cover her.