Defeated

by thewallflowerchapter

Recently, GY and I have been going through some rough patches… frustrating situations which only get worse because we don’t talk about them. And so it happens week after week, we get bulldozed emotionally, spiritually.

Sometimes I wonder why can’t we just talk about the potholes we always fall into, why can’t we tell each other what’s really bothering us, seek to understand, improve, and work through these situations together? Why must it always end up with one of us getting angry or defensive, and then things get swept under the carpet, only to reemerge and haunt us again?

Since the little berry came along, we’ve lost date nights to parenthood. And slowly over the past year, we no longer talk much. Too tired, too sleepy, too angry, too absorbed in our own worlds. Our emotional love tanks have been running on low for a long time, for me at least. And it’s frustrating because no matter how hard I try to fix it, claw at it, make things better, it doesn’t seem to work. And I wonder, what’s the use?

These days I find myself I lay in bed wondering about the stranger next to me. Sometimes I try, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t… But increasingly I realise I’m beginning to get very tired. And perhaps, I should stop.

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