What does it take
I know I shouldn’t be frustrated, but I am. Spoke to my dad this afternoon asking about his hearing condition and the conversation meandered to his disbelief in God, indirectly.
From his worsening hearing to his frustrations/depression dealing with it to his dissatisfaction with my mum’s inability to understand. From his pride in thinking that he’s one of those rare people who doesn’t resort to suicide because of his state of health to his blindness at the miracle that’s happened his last surgery.
He says he feels like whoever’s brought him here forgot about him. He says if ever there is reincarnation, he wishes for a healthy body, the ability to hear.
I feel immensely sad for him, that he feels neglected by whoever created him. That he feels forgotten, cast aside, unloved. My heart was a big mess of sadness and frustrations. Frustration at his pride. Frustration at why doesn’t God just heal his hearing to show that He is God? Frustrated that he’s so damn stubborn, so very set in his ways, so blind to the truth. Frustrated that I don’t know how to communicate all these to him. Don’t know how to say scripture in Chinese. Don’t have the faith to believe that he will be saved.
What does it take for him to recognize the mercy of God in his life? What does it take for God to heal him? If God is the one who created miracle after miracle in my life, why doesn’t God answer this one??