I’ve never thought I would be one of those who would be subjected to baby blues… but well, here it is.
The other night, I was talking to GY and couldn’t help but tear up. It ended up with me pouring out my stored-up fears and feelings to him. I told him about how I feel scared and helpless when I cry the little berry cry, how I think I’m turning into a boring person who’s a burden to him, and there’s this dark cloud above my head which doesn’t seem to lift. Mornings are better, but it usually gets worse in the evenings. GY has been a great support. He listened. He prayed. He advised. He even brought up the Phil 4:8 poster to the nursery so I’ll be reminded of the Lord’s presence and directive for our family. He told me a couple of things which I must try to remember whenever my thoughts stray otherwise.
- GY loves me not for what I do for him. He just loves me.
- I am not a burden to GY.
- GY does not find me boring.
- I am not alone. I have a great support network of loving husband, parents, sisters, family and friends.
- This house belongs to the Lord and there can be no darkness here.
- I can pray while I’m alone in the nursery.
I have a feeling I still have some way to go yet in this journey out of the blues, yet I’m certain there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. – Psalm 139:11-12